One side is right, one isn’t. Only, you’re not quite sure which is which. West Side Story was compelling because we could see both sides’ prejudices. The jets. The sharks. Both wrong. Both right. Just neither at the same time. There’s a three-way burger rumble shaping up between McDonald’s, Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s. Just like West Side Story, there are generous servings of right and wrong to go around.

The turf: Angus. Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s say McDonald’s crossed the line. McDonald’s,  claims they’re just following their value proposition into Angus burgers.

Fight on your opponent’s terms and it’s an even bet you’ll lose. McDonald’s is doing what they do and they’re doing it big. Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s, meanwhile, are being who they are–clever and snarky. All three are stepping out–though, only one of them has the guns to pull it off.

Since McDonald’s rolled out their Angus burgers, sales at the Golden Arches are up 2.6% in July, according to The Wall Street Journal. Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s, both owned by CKE, report sales are off 3.65% in the four weeks ending August 10th. Up is good. Down is bad. But, is this sales differential a matter of Angus?

McDonald’s Big Angus burger is $3.99. You’ll pay $3.49-3.99 at Hardee’s and Carl’s for their 1/3 pound of Angus. CKE sees, in this moment of price parity, a chance to take a bite out of McDonald’s value provider perception. There’s a problem: McDonald’s owns “value” in the minds of customers like hot owns ouch. Looks like CKE is coming to this gun fight with a butter knife.

Hardee’s and Carl’s Jr. aren’t content to just fight it out for Angus. They’re taking direct aim at McDonald’s signature product, offering a cash rebate: Try a Big Mac. If you like it better than the new “Big Carl,” CKE will pay you.  Compare the Big Mac? Good luck with that. Better still, ask Pepsi about taste challenges. Ronald’s packing the heat of emotional connection; we all have car loads of family memories under his Golden Arches.

Challenging a competitor’s long-held perceptual ground by inviting your customers  sample them is more foolish than gutsy. Chances are, you’ll only further entrench the competitor’s position and weaken your own. Worse still, it’s nya-nya thumb-sucking;  unless you send the other guy home in a bag, you’ll sound petty and small. Ronald continues standing tall.

McDonald’s banner billows atop value mountain. CKE, meanwhile, is equally secure atop big burger mountain–it’s really more of a hill. So, what’s CKE doing? Coming off their hill to wage an up-hill attack on McD’s mountain.

CKE probably isn’t fighting to win, but instead Marketing Outrageously to “draft” McDonald’s; gaining sales as a result of marketing lift from their bodacious attack. More likely, the draft benefit will ultimately go to McDonald’s by virtue of girth. As a result, what CKE is really tagging is niche turf.

West Side Story’s turf battle ends with one hero laying dead on the playground, others standing in humbled silence. Both sides loose.  This Angus rumble won’t wind up in a mortal climax, but it will leave two of the three players bloodied for no lasting gain.  I’m betting Ronald won’t be one of them. He’s got a rocket in his pocket.

MTV Networks believes it has found a better answer
for short-form online video advertising than the derided 30-second
pre-roll. AdWeek has the details.

"I don't get it, can you help me Dad?," my daughter said. How humbling is it to be stumped by fourth-grade math homework? Reduce fractions to the lowest-common denominator.

Recollections of mom's protests against my being left back due to this very fourth-grade deficiency freight-trained into my mind's eye as I surveyed the assignment. I don't know if my little girl saw beads of sweat forming in the underbrush of my mustache, but I felt it.

While editing copy the next day, part of me was still swaying aboard the remembrance express: reduce till it can't be reduced any further. Why didn't I ever learn that? Actually, I did. Because, as with fractions, so it is with good copy: Reduce to short sentences. Reduce to simple verbs. Direct action, direct result.

Just like this:

Here's the fraction-reducing rule for crisp copy: say something well. Say nothing else. Say it plainly, then shut up. After all, Gilding the lily betrays a lack of confidence in your message.

The reason, I never learned how to reduce fractions, by the way, is because the teacher never convinced me why I needed to know; 40 years later my Stella did.

A devastating fire, with the power to knock most off their feet, will only graze Houston’s Gallery Furniture. Mattress Mac’s indomitable spirit is matched only by his marketing acumen. Jim McIngvale is conducting a morning-after clinic on how to leverage good from bad:

1. Display authentic humility.
With millions blazing behind him, he spoke on live TV about his people, his faith, and the goodness of the city. In a moment when anyone might be forgiven for doing so, he didn’t make it about himself.

2. Move the story along.
Instead of wallowing and picking through the ruins, Mac is turning the page and giving his new second location press money can’t buy. He’s not only leading the story, he’s pointing where it will go.

3. Keep your brand on point.
Jim Macinvale sells furniture. He also doesn’t miss a beat: “we may not be able to give same day delivery for a little while…” He’s a master of brand focus.

4. Allow others to lift you up.
It’s deep in our American psyche to render aid to those suffering misfortune. Allowing that to happen creates a bond. The Gallery Furniture website is updated, saying thanks to the city and loyal customers. There’s a blog where the outpouring of support borders on maudlin. But, it’s all real.

Therein lies the nougat center of Mac’s persona: he is what he is and he makes no bones about it. Last night his surrender to grace carved a deeper level of character than years of charity support could provide.

In a moment of crushing darkness, JIm McIngvale’s sense of self projected a brighter light than the blaze behind him and used it to spell out: saves you money!